Well, you asked for it, phantom readers in my head, and now you’ve got it!

This is a scene from my upcoming graphic novel for Jonathan Cape, LIVESTOCK: a socio-political satire on the relationship between politics, the media, and us. With jokes! It also casts a long, sad look at the disposability of women in the public eye, and features many awful song lyrics, written by me.

The pages are from about halfway through the book, but they’re pretty self-explanatory. The only thing you need to know going in is that ‘DOBSIE’ is the Department of Business, Skills, Innovation and Enterprise, and that its staff have been told never to refer to it as ‘DOBSIE’ because it sounds like a cartoon donkey.

I hope you like it. Look, honestly? I’m a human being who makes things up for a living: I crave your approval.

Livestock48 49 copy 50 copy 51 copy 52 copy 53 copy


Heads up – the massive twist that you think is going to happen is not really a twist. My mother didn’t raise no Shyamalans.

Just for funsies I like to pepper familiar faces throughout my books, because I spend a lot of time alone working and am easily amused. This particular scene features my friends Kieron and Agent Sam; my pretend friends from my podcasts of choice, Scott Aukerman and Paul F Tompkins (who is 5 or 6 of my favourite people right now); and a 40 watt version of the ultra-cool Brittany Howard that could conceivably be a BBC newsreader.

Interestingly, when I wrote this story just over a year ago I added in lots of horrible little details to suggest a cynical dystopia: things like a new “improved” human rights act, a weakened BBC being bought out by News Corp, and so on.

+10 for prescience.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *